you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
