I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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