Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
