respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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