I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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