i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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