3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
