Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
