Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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