someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
