did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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