you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
