I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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