obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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