do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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