It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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