I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize