did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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