PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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