don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
