Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
