1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
