The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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