I'm so fucking centered right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
