Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
