clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
