Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize