I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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