i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
