I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
