So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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