life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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