Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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