he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How's work?
Spinning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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