I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
