he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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