my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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