I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
