He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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