Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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