I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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