If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
