just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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