Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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