im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
