Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
