I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
