just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Couch. On fire.
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