whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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