Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
