Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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