What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
