thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Houston, we have a blender
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
