Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hippo gnu deer
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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