im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
