kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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