I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
