Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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