i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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