I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
