I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
