At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
